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New Army Recruit Wants to Invade Middle Earth


There are lots of good reasons to join the military—patriotism, sense of public duty, chicks digging guys in uniform….The list goes on. One anonymous new recruit came up with a new one recently; in a handwritten note to his drill instructor, he detailed how he joined the army so his life could be more like Lord of the Rings and Dungeons and Dragons.

“I joined the Army so I could go on an adventure like Bilbo and Frodo Baggins,” the unnamed private writes. “Whenever we march, I just think about me and the Fellowship walking into Mordor.”

He also expresses his disappointment that his real life isn’t more like his Dungeons and Dragons characters and includes a (really, really bad) visual Lord of the Rings joke. We love this guy.

While we still have problems with international terrorism, Iran and North Korea, don’t worry about orcs and dragons—America’s finest has us covered. Do you think he was disappointed with the shortage of elvin babes, when he arrived at boot camp?


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