The Midnight Writer is a freelance writer and contributor to popular websites and magazines. He's written three humor books and often writes while under the influence. Under the influence of what, he will not say.
The Midnight Writer
Philadelphia Media Thinks Nnamdi Asomugha is a Bad Teammate For Eating Lunch in His Car
It happens in every sports city during the off season -- first you make a player look bad in the press with tiny little nuggets of nothing passed off as "news" and once he's out of town the "thank god that malcontent is gone" rhetoric continues until another target is found. Today's city -- Philly.
Kevin Heffernan of Broken Lizard — ‘There Will Be a “Super Troopers” Sequel’
This week, I had the pleasure of speaking with Kevin Heffernan and Steve Lemme of the comedy group Broken Lizard. Kevin and Steve sat down to discuss their careers, facial hair, which member of the group would be the most edible and their new stand-up special 'Fat Man Little Boy' which hits Netflix this Friday, March 1st.
Team Allegedly Asks NFL Combine Prospect if He ‘Likes Girls’
A few days ago, Mike Florio of Pro Football Talk said on the Dan Patrick Show that teams interested in drafting Manti Te'o were concerned if he was gay. Te'o has publicly said he's not, even if people think he does run like a girl. This information was just one more instance of the homophobic and intolerant, but fairly obvious culture, of the NFL.
Jonathan Papelbon — Phillies ‘Lack Leadership’
Jonathan Papelbon came over to the Philadelphia Phillies from a Red Sox team that, at the time, probably had more leaders than actual soldiers. In his time with Philly, Papelbon has been waiting for one of the Phillies to step up and take a vocal role...
Calvin Johnson Broke Receiving Record With Multiple Broken Fingers
Calvin Johnson had a monster season for the Detroit Lions. Forget monster, it was a record-breaking display. Johnson broke something else this season, besides the NFL receiving record -- he broke multiple fingers and still played.
Oscar Pistorius Breaks Down In Court — Officially Charged with Murder of Reeva Steenkamp
Olympic star Oscar Pistorius broke down in tears as he stood before magistrate Desmond Nair. Pistorius is being charged with murder in the shooting death of his girlfriend, model Reeva Steenkamp.
Tedy Bruschi Ranks the NFC East Quarterbacks — Next Segment, He’ll Rank Flavors in Neapolitan Ice Cream
On a gym treadmill this morning, when faced with the Sophie's Choice of watching sports news for the tenth time or Guy Fieri and Rachael Ray cooking with the guy who married Donna Martin from '90210,' I chose the worldwide leader. I honestly try to stay away from ESPN as much as possible, but just like pleasuring yourself to necklace models on QVC, it's sometimes the best you've got in the moment.
Wrestling Cut from 2020 Olympics
The International Olympic Committee voted to drop wrestling from its schedule for the 2020 Games via a secret ballot during a meeting in Switzerland. Instead of eliminating the pentathlon, like many expected, the IOC decided to scrap wrestling.
Hulk Hogan is Tweeting Uncomfortable Photos of Legs Again
Last month, orange-skinned rasslin legend Hulk Hogan tweeted a sexy but awkward photo of his daughter Brooke's legs. He added only the words "Brooke's leg" giving the tweet an overall "psycho listing body parts of his victim" type vibe.
Well, the Hulkster is at it again, this time tweeting a pair of legs that would make even those with an iron-clad stomach cry like Ric Flair in
9 Cliches Your Local Sports Writer Will Include In His First Article From Spring Training
"The job of a sports writer isn't easy" claims hundreds of columns I've read over the years. These men watch and write about baseball for a living which sounds like a step above working in a hospice. It must be awful.
Les Miles Had a Lengthy Conversation With Himself on Twitter Last Night
Les Miles is a successful college football coach. Les Miles isn't so great at Twitter. He's got it half right at least, live-tweeting the Lakers and Heat tussle on NBC yesterday.
Guy Fired For Getting in Argument Over Work Printer and Threatening to ‘Shoot Up the Place Like Newtown’
In the heat of argument, people sometimes say some dumb things. For example, I once got in an disagreement with a coworker and told him that I was going to piss in his coffee. I didn't mean to say that. I meant to say "in his desk drawer" but it was all cleared up the next day when he reached into his desk drawer. He was so surprised he spit out the cup of piss I made him!