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Does Having Testicles Shorten Your Life Expectancy?

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“That dude has huge balls,” is often the epitaph of brave, rugged adventurers who die too young — It’s probably written on Steve McQueen’s tombstone. This week, science discovered that it might be a little more literal than we imagined. 

A new study  suggests that Eunichs, or castrated men (involuntary shiver) have a life expectancy of nearly 20 years longer than those of us who keep our huevos.

The science behind it is less about the physical absence of one’s jewels, though, and more about the effect on hormone levels which may influence longevity. The study was limited to eunich status and lifespan, and so it’s also possible that there are missing pieces of the puzzle. For example: Did the Eunichs subsist on a diet of organic produce and abstain from alcohol? Did the early-expirers have really, really annoying wives? There’s still a lot to learn about what effect hormones and other life choices have on life expectancy so please, no home surgeries.

Yeah, right, like anyone in the world would trade 20 years for the ability to have sex.

Next: Chinese Doctors Invent Sperm Extractor

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