The 10 Most Appalling ‘Honey Boo Boo Child’ Moments
As the world braces/readies itself for the triumphant spinoff debut of ‘Toddlers and Tiaras’ pageant princess Alana Thompson, the internet has been flooded with candid moments between the self-proclaimed “Honey Boo Boo” and her family.
We’re not sure yet if this is going to be the beginning of the end the Mayans were predicting, or manna from television heaven. One thing is for sure — Honey Boo Boo will not be silenced. Here’s our guide to the best/worst moments from the pint-sized princess so far.
Intro to Boo Boo
Here we are introduced to Alana– or as she calls herself “Honey Boo Boo Child” in her home. If this clip compilation is any indication about how she spends her time, little Honey Boo Boo enjoys dancing wildly in front of her trophy collection, pummeling her parents with paper towels and spewing stripper-esque slogans like, “a dolla makes me holler!” in between taking swigs of her “Go Go Juice.” We’re almost afraid to ask what that is.
In this clip, mama June speaks with producers about her penchant for what she calls “organized” hoarding. Flabbergasted at her mother’s complete lack of awareness, Honey Boo Boo immediately urges everyone to visit Facebook for damning photo evidence. “Look at this, look at that Brawny!…You don’t know how to organize, your boyfriend has to deal with it.” Tough crowd!
How to Make Go Go Juice
This Dr. Drew show clip medley shows Alana and her mother mixing her signature Go Go juice (which contains Mountain Dew, Red Bull and Lord knows what else), followed by the totally kid-appropriate urges she experiences in the aftermath of ingesting the drink. What child hasn’t attempted to tear down street signs and yank her mother’s hair out?
Dr. Drew Tries Go Go Juice
In this clip, Dr. Drew takes a swig of Alana’s famous Go Go juice, but not before asking her and her mother about the concoction’s dubious ingredients. Assured that it contains nothing illegal, the good doc takes a hit and immediately begins to experience its effects. Paging celebrity rehab!
Anderson Cooper Learns Origin of Honey Boo Boo Nickname
When Kathy Griffin isn’t doing her damndest to mortify Anderson Cooper on live television, he can be seen interviewing important cultural figures, newsmakers and heads of state. When he’s not doing THAT, he interviews people like Honey Boo Boo for his new talk show. Here he is talking to Alana about the origins of her nickname, her penchant for showing off her belly and the balance on Alana’s college fund bank account. Oh Anderson. Remember when you were a legitimate news anchor?
Dub Step Remix
On to the weird clips. In this clip, Alana’s key catchphrases and weird body gyrations are cut to dub step music. Not to be outdone, mama June provides offstage dance moves and essential burp commentary. Be sure to watch June morph into a scary Batman supervillain at around the :50 mark.
This clip takes us backstage while Honey Boo Boo is primped and polished for a press appearance. Watch as she practices responses for the show, holds some money and expresses her numerous frustrations. “You need to chill out.”
Interview with ‘Extra’
In this clip, Alana chats with ‘Extra’ reporter Renee Bargh. As fellow journalists, we appreciate her careful attempts to attribute her obvious scorn to others who may not appreciate the pageant lifestyle. June’s justification for the Go Go juice and Alana’s fixation with her Shirley Temple-esque do is all the encouragement we need to keep gawking.
Dance Music Remix
If it exists, there is a YouTube musical remix of it. This clip contains Alana singing some of her key phrases to uptempo dance music. It even includes a vocoder-like voice alter at the end. Excellent!
Teen Reactions to Honey Boo Boo Antics
When your behavior draws ire from teenagers, that is when it’s time to reflect. In this clip, teens are seen reacting in what can only be described as a mix of confusion, horror and wonderment to Alana’s antics. 16-year-old Adam puts it best when he says, “there is something wrong with this.” So many things, Adam, so many things.
Bonus: The Debut of ‘Here Comes Honey Boo Boo’
Ok, perhaps this is the end of modern culture as we know it. Or the greatest thing ever? We’re really not sure.