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Massage Robot On Wheels Could Disrupt Massage Industry, Or Not

Robot technology is often spectacular when’s it’s on full display, like the Mars rover, military drones and the Roomba. These incredible machines often complete tasks that humans can only hope to achieve. One company is putting robotic technology to its best use yet: providing automated massages through the use of a tiny car that motors across your body.

Meet the WheeMe. Watch it in action:

Like Wall-E meets Jennifer Love-Hewitt’s character in ‘The Client List,’ the WheeMe is a tiny robotic car that massages and stimulates your muscles as it slowly moves across your body. Sensor technology enables WheeMe to automatically steer itself over your torso without falling off. Your designated driver should be so skilled (just as long as he’s not trying to touch you sensually).

That sound you just heard was the entire massage industry shaking in its robes. Because, really, who in their right mind is going to make an appointment with a beautiful, doe-eyed masseuse trained in caressing, touching and kneading the muscles of the human body (with oils!) when you can just crank up a tiny plastic car and let it ‘steamroller‘ over you until you are reduced to a pile of human gristle?

WheeMe costs just $199.99, plus however many AA batteries you might run through while letting the little massaging robot car run over you while you watch the first two seasons of ‘Homeland.’ Much like the TV series, no happy ending is likely. Yet.

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