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13 Reasons Every Runner is a Jerk

Start of Race

Running has countless benefits — it’s good for your health, your heart, your stress levels and might even increase your lifespan. Too bad almost every runner is a massive jerk.

An estimated 7 million people participate in some form of running for exercise each year, which means, we’re surrounded by at least 7 million aholes who make the sport seem so damn obnoxious. That’s probably because it is obnoxious.

Here are thirteen reasons most runners are jerks. Don’t worry, they won’t be offended, they are out running and won’t have time to read this article.


They run through and around traffic and really don't care about the rules of the road

 
 
 
In Traffic

They brag about losing toenails and bloody nipples are ACCEPTABLE

 
 
 
Toenail

Running on crowded sidewalks is common as long as you don't get in their way with your "walking"

 
 
 
City Street

Runners love to sticker brag how far they've run...ironically stuck to the back of their cars

 
 
 
Marathon Decal

The entire sport is based on being selfish and alone

 
 
 
Alone

When a race is over, every runner gets a medal. Medals. For everyone. Grown people with medals

 
 
 
race-medals

Not EVERY runner can pull off running shorts but EVERY runner tries

 
 
 
shortshorts

The sport is so boring they need gimmicks to make it entertaining

 
 
 
The Colour Run Singapore

Don't plan on runners doing anything on a weekend, they've got a race (or need to train for one)

 
 
 
race weekend prep 460

Runners think other people care about their times. Even other people interested in running don't care about their times

 
 
 
Runner Watch

They invite people to WATCH THEM RUN

 
 
 
watching race

Races shut down major streets for hours, but it's cool, no one else was going anywhere today

 
 
 
St Jude Country Music Marathon And Half Marathon Presented By Nissan

"Did I mention I went for a run today? How many times? Here's one more mention.."

 
 
 
runners talk

NEXT: 15 Moments That Will Make Any Man Cry

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