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13 Reasons Every Runner is a Jerk

Start of Race

Running has countless benefits — it’s good for your health, your heart, your stress levels and might even increase your lifespan. Too bad almost every runner is a massive jerk.

An estimated 7 million people participate in some form of running for exercise each year, which means, we’re surrounded by at least 7 million aholes who make the sport seem so damn obnoxious. That’s probably because it is obnoxious.

Here are thirteen reasons most runners are jerks. Don’t worry, they won’t be offended, they are out running and won’t have time to read this article.

They run through and around traffic and really don’t care about the rules of the road

In Traffic

They brag about losing toenails and bloody nipples are ACCEPTABLE


Running on crowded sidewalks is common as long as you don’t get in their way with your “walking”

City Street

Runners love to sticker brag how far they’ve run…ironically stuck to the back of their cars

Marathon Decal

The entire sport is based on being selfish and alone


When a race is over, every runner gets a medal. Medals. For everyone. Grown people with medals


Not EVERY runner can pull off running shorts but EVERY runner tries


The sport is so boring they need gimmicks to make it entertaining

The Colour Run Singapore

Don’t plan on runners doing anything on a weekend, they’ve got a race (or need to train for one)

race weekend prep 460

Runners think other people care about their times. Even other people interested in running don’t care about their times

Runner Watch

They invite people to WATCH THEM RUN

watching race

Races shut down major streets for hours, but it’s cool, no one else was going anywhere today

St Jude Country Music Marathon And Half Marathon Presented By Nissan

“Did I mention I went for a run today? How many times? Here’s one more mention..”

runners talk

NEXT: 15 Moments That Will Make Any Man Cry

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