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The Dumbest Laws in Texas


It’s super easy to complain about the current political landscape, but after a little research, it seems past legislators have a screw loose too.

Throughout the years, the Lone Star State has rolled out some really, really dumb laws.

While these are still on the books, many probably aren’t enforced just based on the stupidity of them.

According to, these are some ‘dumb’ laws here in Texas:

  • It is illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel. (Is that why you can’t open 2nd story hotel windows now?)
  • It is illegal to milk another person’s cow. (No sense in making your cow jealous)
  • It is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing. (I guess I should be jailed for all the times I’ve shotgunned beer)
  • Up to a felony charge can be levied for promoting the use of, or owning more than six dildos. (Seriously, who needs that many?)
  • When two trains meet each other at a railroad crossing, each shall come to a full stop, and neither shall proceed until the other has gone. (You go first. No, you go first. No, you go first.)

Even dumber are some laws in our fine cities of Texas:

  • Abilene: It is illegal to idle or loiter anyplace within the corporate limits of the city for the purpose of flirting or mashing. (What in the heck is ‘masking’?)
  • Clarendon: It is illegal to dust any public building with a feather duster. (I take it that’s a pretty dirty town)
  • Dallas: It’s illegal to possess realistic dildos. (So I’m guessing one that looks like a light saber is fine?)
  • El Paso: Urinating on the streets is illegal.

If you know of any dumb laws in Texas, that aren’t on this list, drop em in the comments section below.

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