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The Spare Tire Donut, Butt Cover, Lipstick Stencil + More of the Dumbest Inventions Ever

Butt Cover, Spare Tire, Lip StencilI saw a guy driving down the road with two – that’s right, two – spare tire donuts. Rather than focus on what an unfortunate fella he was, I thought about what a stupid invention the spare tire donut was. That led me to look for more dumb inventions, and I found some doozies! Here are some of my favorites.

Getty Images, Keystone
Getty Images, Keystone

Here’s a throwback dumb invention. This is the perfect invention if you need to fire off several rounds of ammunition in a matter of seconds, and you are armpit-deep in cement. Otherwise, can we please reserve the curved barrel machine gun for use only by Elmer Fudd?

Once upon a time, vehicles were equipped with spare tires. Full-size tires mounted on a rim that matched the other ones on the automobile in question. Then one day, some genius decided it was a better idea to make a tire about half the normal width, make it weaker than regular tires, and require that you drive slower when you use it. All of this, plus it takes up about the same amount of space in your trunk and is just as difficult to put on your car as a regular spare.

As if that isn’t enough to make the spare tire donut one of the stupidest inventions ever, spare tire donuts are selling on eBay for the price of normal, full-size tires.

Getty Images/Hulton Archive
Getty Images/Hulton Archive

The Ice-Velocipede


Back in the 1860’s bicycles were a craze. Somebody apparently fell off their bike, hit their head, and then proceeded to come up with the ice-velocipede – a bicycle to ride on ice.

Complete with a spiked front wheel and two ice skate blades in the back, this ridiculous invention was supposed to help with travel across icy terrain. The problem is, just looking at the pencil drawing of this dumb invention hurts. I’m assuming they scrapped production the first time someone hit a bump in the ice. Ouch!

Had enough of your pet’s unsightly bunghole being flaunted around the house? The Butt Cover is the answer. Just like the photo shows, you can get your face dangerously close to Scruffy’s crack to take a selfie, without the worry of ole one-eye peaking into the picture.


eBay - Getty Images, Gustavo Caballero
eBay – Getty Images, Gustavo Caballero

I see these more often than I care to admit. It seems most people wearing them go about their day having no idea how ridiculous they look. The Visor Rug is like a poor man’s Guy Fieri Halloween costume.

Getty Images/Hulton Archive
Getty Images/Hulton Archive

Lipstick Stencil


I have to admit, most women I know have no problem applying lipstick without smearing it all over themselves. But I suppose this stencil is for those who need assistance knowing where the lip ends and the chin begins.

Ladies, do you ever wake up in the middle of the night because one breast is smothering the other? Well, say goodbye to the twins crushing each other in the night with The Kush! Get the breast night’s sleep possible with this device.

Getty Images, Jacobsen
Getty Images, Jacobsen

I had to include this for the photo of a pair of lovebirds holding hands, glancing at one another…but apparently don’t like each other enough to touch lips to the same opening to a cigarette holder. At least it will take these two twice as long to get cancer.


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