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Townsquare Media Employees Offer Ways to Capture Santa

santa stuck in chimney

I had a dream the other night about Santa. Yes, I still dream of Santa but it wasn’t the kind of dream where he’s bringing me presents; I was trying to capture him.

That dream had me baffled still the next morning. So I thought about it and asked some of my co-workers “How would you capture Santa and when you did what would you do with him?’ I got some pretty interesting responses and some even more interesting looks. However, here are some of the answers I received.

Here’s mine:

I would place my plate of cookies near the chimney, when Santa comes sliding down and picks up one of my delicious cookies it triggers a net that scoops him up. I would calm him down, make him have a proper breakfast and then take me on a ride for the rest of his deliveries. I would ask to see the North Pole, meet the Mrs. and elves, have my picture taken with him and then he could take me home.

Here are some of my co-workers responses:

I would spike the hot cocoa with some oxy and when he passed out I would tie him up takes his cloths, hop on his sleigh and take it for a spin.–Rudy Fernandez

If I caught Santa, I would make him give me the winning lottery numbers, give me a Camaro, pay off all my debt, find the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, and make chocolate ice cream cholesterol free…oh and fried chicken too…– Chaz McGuire

Santa gets pulled over by the FDA and Home Land Security. George Bush Jr. & Senior jump out of the patrol vehicles Armed and Ready to ask Santa a few questions.“Why the long beard Santa, Are you Alqueda?” “What you got in the bag Santa, Boxes of Ammo for the terrorists?”–Chris Sanchez

(As a side note Chris’s idea reminds me of Kevin Fowler’s song ‘Santa Got Busted by the Border Patrol’)

This is easy, I wouldn’t capture Santa, I would capture Mrs. Claus, because we all know the operation is run by the woman and the man takes credit for it!–Staci Blubaugh

I would capture Santa with my charm and entice him with my Bottle of crown! Once he has a good buzz going and disappears for a bathroom break I’d take that sleigh for a joy ride!!! Once I return we would laugh and eat cookies to sober up and then I’d help him deliver all the presents. –Tori Breakfield

 These are a few of our ideas; what would you do with Santa?

NEXT: NORAD is Ready to Track Santa This Christmas

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